I’m not writing this because I’m mad or angry but because I’ve seen a lot of awkwardness lately…
I’m not writing this because you might have felt like I wasn’t doing a good job but because there have been lots of blogs about the church lately…
I’m not writing this because you’ve left or talked about leaving but because I think you’ve forgotten some things…

So when you leave your church for another…better yet, when you THINK you’ll leave your church for another, you need to remember…

The Body…The Bible calls the church the body. Yes, it references the universal church, all believers throughout all time. But haven’t you noticed how true it is of the local church? How much more tangible of a picture it is with the church you’ve been attending? Remember this, when you leave, it will not be without pain. You cannot sever a part of the body without pain. Do not think this moment will be absent of hurt and loss…

The Family…You do not make this decision in a vacuum. It feels like an individual decision because it is a personal decision but you’re wrong, it involves a family, albeit a dysfunctional and broken family. The pain involved won’t be felt by you alone. No matter how ignored you might be feeling, the family will notice when you’re gone. It may never say anything but it will be affected. Relationships will be altered. Time together will shrink. Words and shared moments will be fewer not because of anger but lack of presence, you aren’t there so they can’t be shared. The family most certainly has failed you, all families do at some point and it may truly be time to move out but as you do so, remember…

The Pastor…He too may have failed you for he is certainly a sinner, someone called to an impossible task that he is insufficient to face. He also cared for you, prayed for you, hoped for you, connected with you and relied upon you even if you never noticed or felt as much. He is undermined by his own weakness, by the sins of others, by spiritual warfare and by a world that has no place for him. Do not add to this by leaving poorly or by imagining it won’t matter to him. Do not pretend it won’t be awkward for him when he sees you dropping your kids off at school. Don’t forget the hours, the spiritual sweat he invested in your marriage, your kid, your spiritual well-being. Even if he is the worst Pastor ever, don’t forget that he too is part of the Body, the Family…

The Bride – You leave (part of) Christ’s bride. Mind your words on the way out. When you speak of this place to others, don’t forget that you speak of His bride. Flaws and all, she is loved.  Do your words reflect that? Though she cause you pain, remember that she has been redeemed and He puts her on display as an object of His affection. I would not let you speak of my bride without consequence.  What makes you think Christ loves His bride any less!

So only leave if you must, and there is perhaps a time to leave…after much prayer and fasting and reflection and repentance (you didn’t think you were free of culpability in this) and certainly direction from God.

Then, when you leave, leave right.  Mind your words and before you blog, tweet, update a status or talk about the church you leave, remember it is still the Body, the Family and the Bride.